"Crowd"

I don't like crowds. Everyone here knows about my eating disorder, they all saw it in action. So when I am in a group I am very anxious about comments that can be made, how I will be judged. Most of my family don't even know what to say which I suppose is a good thing but bad when instead of saying something, they just stare, they look at me like I am so fragile, I suppose in a way I am but I dont think to the extent they believe. Yes I am sick, but I am strong and I am not going to break in half. The thing I hate most is the food, how everyone watches what I eat. how I eat and expect me to eat more even if I follow my meal plan. It is extremely uncomfortable and anxiety provoking for me. I usually am in panic mode for days before hand if I know something is planned. Then the day of I have to be on the phone all day to calm myself down, to get support. I dont know what it is. I think its more than just my eating disorder...