"Beginning"

Beginning something is scary as hell. There are so many what if's. It's the 1st step but its the hardest step. To let go of what you know, to throw yourself in an unknown place. It's scary.

When I started dance, I wanted someone with me. So I knew someone. I was afraid of nobody liking me, of not being good at it. It's dance, its suppose to be fun and stress free but for me it wasn't...

Beginning recovery is the scariest thing. And I have been through a lot of scary things. What if I switch to binge eating, what if I never stop gaining weight, what if I dont like who I am, what if others dont like who I am, what if, what if, what if....WHO KNOWS but I do know whatever it is, it has to be a hell of a lot better than a life with my eating disorder. Might be scary and hard but it just has to be better.

When I was in treatment, my therapist was a big fan of this quote; "Take the first step, even when you dont see the whole staircase"

HAHA i get what the quote is saying but I think...who the hell would take a step not seeing if there were steps following???