Great Recovery Advice
The best advice I got was probably last night, " To need someone's approval all the time is inhumane"
I am a big people pleaser, to a point where I will do something I don't want to, just so they give me approval. I would eat a normal meal, or even binge with my sister so they are happy that I am eating, and ended up purging it without them knowing. I went to a college that I didn't want to just to make my mom happy. I worked my butt of to make sure I got straight A's to please everyone when I clearly needed to take a break. I am ALWAYS trying to please everyone and it's exhausting because in the end someone is always still going to be unhappy. Someone is always going to say, that what I am doing could be better. I coul do more, work harder, faster, etc. That puts me in a place where I am not good enough. And I am good enough! I am where I am suppose to be right now. If I am struggling with ed, i have to believe that it's just not my time to get better.. even with ed. I think this past week I have come far, I have made a huge improvement and still I get comments from two different people, one related one isn't, that what I am doing isn't good enough. And I still need to do this and that...Okay I realize, yes there are some things I still need to work on, but can't someone for once recognize the baby steps I am taking it's still hard work. And to think that I was going to say "F it" and give up when they confronted me, because im not doing a good job and I never will be what they want me to be, where they want me to be...For christs sake I am 22 years old and I haven't lived my life the way I wanted, I lived it to make everyone else happy. It's time to do this for me and say, "thanks for your feedback" and not let it effect me anymore. I have to stop seeking approval from others and get my own approval. I know the work I am doing is hard and I think I am doing a great job. It's my life, I think the only approval I need is mine. This is allowing me to not let others have so power over me, to not allow them to walk all over me anymore.
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